1,700 miles away

This morning my husband left for Oklahoma and Arizona. He will not be home until mid November. I thought I would be tough but I cried like a baby. I wonder if I cried because he will be gone for so long or did I cry because I will be home raising 2 kids by myself. I think a little of both. I guess him missing the birth of his second son is pretty sad for me...I will be alone. I have sisters that offer to come with me, but even though someone will be there, I will be alone.

Trent started crying at night and is being a super cling on to me and is needing me to be with him until he falls asleep. He knew TC was leaving, I guess he really does listen.
I guess the only remedy to this is to spoil him with material things. I need for him to be distracted until he is used to the house with just us.

TC going away state side is not so bad, at least I know he is safe and out of everyday harm. But what keeps me up at night is just when he gets home in November, he has to pack up again for his 24 month tour in Iraq....

Sad, just sad......

Dishes don't wash themselves

Dishes don't wash themselves, toys don't pick themselves up and shoes don't know their way to the closet!!

That is one thing that I have know for my entire life. But why do I still walk around my messy house thinking when I walk to another room that it will be miraculously clean?

I lack a ton of energy, that I know but I do EVER THING!!!!! I cook, clean, pay bills, laundry, clean the house...you know the usual home maker stuff. I would not mind so much but I do hold a job too.

I love my husband, really do, but my goodness is he a slob!! I mean, he thinks that I enjoy taking my huge stomach and lugging down the vacuum cleaner so I can clean up the cat hair off the couch that he complains about everyday. When he sees it downstairs or me using it, he says, I was going to take it down for you.....ummmm like I have time to wait!!!

I started to clean up toys and I lost my energy. I am lucky if I sleep 3 straight hours a night...sounds like I am complaining....ok I am complaining but it makes me feel better.

I know when my husband is away with the Army, the house will have order...but I know I will miss the boots, coffee cups on the window sill and the empty toilet paper roll.....oh and of course the drop of juice left in the container!!!

I will be a temporary single mom...again

Many of you have read my past blogs about my husband being in the reserves and going away a lot, which includes his year in Iraq when Trent just turned one. So being a temporary single mom is now on my resume. I have to say that it is the hardest, most unappreciated job! I applaud every single parent out there. When you do it on your own you are mother, father, psychologist, doctor and playmate. There is never a break, never a day off or a long enough shower for you to even shave your legs evenly!!!

Well, I just got word that TC will be leaving May 29th until November 15th or so....

He will miss the birth of the baby, the christening, Trent's first day of Kindergarten, Trent's fourth birthday and even silly things like trick or treating!!!

I am grateful that he will be stateside, in Oklahoma and Arizona...but then I found out that once he is done with this stint...he will be going off to Iraq for 18 months. He will leave shortly after Christmas (at least that is the plan). He will get to meet his new son for about one month and then off until he is close to 2 years old and Trent will be close to 6 years old. I think that is the ages but either way, my children will not know their father.

I guess I will have to get to know him all over again. I will have to experience the first kiss, the first night in the same bed and being able to hand over some of the parental responsibilities. I nearly had a breakdown the last time he came home.....I wonder if I will be the same as before or be fine...I am thinking I will be fine...I have experience on my side!

Hats off to single parents, military families and all the children and babies stuck in the middle!!!!

So, I have this cough.....

*for folks who get easily offended, don't read*

So, I have this cough and so does Trent and TC but mine sounds like a disgusting alien living in my chest...gross! Nothing is coming up so it makes it worse.

I was in the shower today and I cough so much that I actually pulled my tongue muscle. OK is that even possible? My tongue feels like I just had a make out session with a hoover...double gross!!

So, today being a amazing sunny day, I decide to park far from the school and walk...OK great! Then the coughing fit happens...I cough and cough and then...I tinkled my pants!!

I blame the pregnancy and the baby right on my bladder but I think I just cough so much that the pee wanted out!!!

Now what does that say for the kind of day I am going to have??

OK maybe I am a bit paranoid.....

It was a warm September morning when I went into labor with Trent. Throughout the day, I knew I was going to love this little human but I had no idea how powerful it was going to be.

So when my little man entered the world and I saw him for the first time I cried, and I cried and I made a silent promise to myself, him and the world that I would protect him until my dying day. With that in mind, I have become a very paranoid person.

Fast forward to his school days, he is in pre-school and he is thriving and loves it! I love it too!!
His teacher is amazing and the children are all so sweet. I guess some of the other parents are more relaxed than me because they are all going on the "field trip" on Wednesday. There will be about 80 kids going to a turkey farm...ON A BUS!!!!!!!! A BUS!!!! A BUS WITH NO SEAT BELTS AND ME NOT THERE!!!!

So my question to you is......would you send your 3 year old on this field trip?

Dreams.....is that why I wake up tired?

My entire life I have always had a very active imagination but now...whoa!! These pregnancy dreams are weird.

The experts say they are normal to have weird dreams, something to do with anxiety, hormones and a boat load of things. But the ones I have been having could make a best seller!!!

I have been in a monogamous relationship with my husband since we were both 22 years old. I have never and I know I will never be unfaithful. But over the last couple of weeks, I have been with a bunch of other men. OK, maybe my extra marital affairs have all been dreamt but they do feel weird. Sometimes I wake feeling very guilty.

Last week I was with Mark Conselous and Kelly Ripa was no where in sight, he only had eyes for me...that fantasy lasted about 3 days, I guess him hosting the show with his lovely wife had something to do with it. Then last night, don't ask me why but my love interest was Mark Harmon. I have never ever thought of him in that light but oh boy we were in love last night. So today I googled him. He is a good looking man. I have great taste!!!

There have been a host of other nutty dreams in the mix like me walking down the street with Trent on the way to school and we hear a mother yelling at her child that they are late for school and the child is a baby crying. I know you are thinking while reading this....what the heck kind of pre-natal vitamins is this whack job on?!?!?!?

Im sure a shrink would have a field day on my head!