so much going on but nothing to talk about

I read blogs and think wow, these people have a lot going on in their lives. Some interesting, some strange, some boring but at least they have something to talk about.

I have a lot going on in my life but nothing to talk about. How weird is that??

I have a new baby, but you all know that. I have a hysterical 4 year old...again you all know that. My husband has been away for six months and just got home...but I don't feel like talking about that...work, well work is work and not matter how much sugar you put on it, it still stinks having to figure out what you are going to wear in the morning.
I have a christening for my baby this weekend but I have a caterer doing the food, so I have no good recipes to share.
I am dealing with trying to lose the baby weight but who wants to hear me complain about tight jeans and my butt giggling up the stairs after me when I run up them...nah, that is too boring.

So as I sit here at my computer chomping on my Swedish fish, listening to " Doing the Butt". I will think of something crafty or funny to right about...but for now I have a small case of writers block.
Do the professionals get this??? hmmm, that could be a good topic.

Do you sometimes.....fake it?

Ah ha, you all thought the title was meaning something fresh...but now what I want to know is sometimes do you fake paying attention when your spouse or partner is talking?

I had a phone conversation with my husband who LOVES to talk about the military...which I really don't have an interest in. He was going on and on about something to be quite honest, I really don't remember. Anyway, he was talking a mile a minute and something distracted me...the baby crying or Trent pulling at me for attention...could have been anything, but anyway I did not even remember he was talking about it and I changed the subject and he got real quiet and I said ok well I gotta go and get Trent ready for bed and he was like ok, real short and I said, what is wrong and he was like....I was talking about blah, blah and you just cut me off.
Now this is coming from a guy who was not hear for the end of my pregnancy or the birth of his child and I actually felt guilty about being rude. I am a sucker so I acted interested and asked questions and kept the conversation going until the call got dropped..gotta love cell phones...
I tried to call back but went right to voice mail...I had more important things to do than listen about his friend going somewhere in the world...
Most of our "exciting" conversations are always about him.......hmmmmmmm, is this a selfish person or am I just boring?

I may not be Martha Stewart, but I tried!

Life is crazy...in a nutshell!
I have a 4 year old who is awesome and now a three month old who is just starting to become fun.
I have no time to shave my legs, style my hair or iron my shirts but I did find the time to make my sons halloween costume.
He loves sharks. Ok, loves is an understatement...he is obsessed with them. So the only obvious solution is to make him a shark costume. hahahahahaha...I could have purchased one online and still would have done it cheaper.
I got the material and supplies for this disaster and spent about what I could have gotten it for but NOOOOOOO I wanted to be a freaking June Cleaver and make the damn thing. Stupid girl, I lived the stupid blonde joke life!
It took me HOURS...bloody finger tips from sewing through tough material, blisters from cutting the material and the frigging thing came out looking like a sting ray. Trent liked it, did not love it but it was an ocean creature to say the least.
No one wanted to hurt my feelings except my darling husband. I sent him a photo of it and he laughed and said that is the ugliest shark I have ever seen....go buy him one so he is not the laughing stock of the school and neighborhood.
I made the poor kid put it on and laughed and said, Dude, mom is going to buy you one. Well, no sharks are anywhere to be found so we settled on Mr. Incredible.
He is so cute with the mask and the fake muscles.
I guess I should stick to things I do best....sewing, not so good!

Sleep. Is it really needed anyway?

Well, I have been gone for some time now and I feel I should offer an explaination.

I had a baby.

I had a baby boy on August 4th. Maybe you read my previous post about how I was going to get him out. I was on the fence with doing another c-section, planned of course or a vbac (vaginal birth after c-section). Anyway my little bundle was 15 days early and they did not anticipate him being very big so I did the vbac. He was only 7lbs 4 oz. Everyone says that is a good size but my first son was 10 lbs. so anything under that seems small to me.

His name is Dashiell Luke but we call him Dash.

My son Trent named him...and he is named after the Disney character from the Incredibles. I tell strangers that he is named after the author.

With my husband still away it is tough for me to have anytime for myself, or even using the computer, which requires two hands.

So sleep is not happening very often on my end...but my poor husband has not even met the baby and that is so sad for him. So I may be sleep deprived but at least I am home with my kids. He will be home in November and then will be leaving for Iraq sometime in January. The baby will have to wait a couple of years to know his father. Sucks!

I will be sharing my stories of boogies, poops and puke in blogs to come. I will be going back to work so blogging will be a lot easier :-)

Tick Tock- tick tock....

So I am down to the wire and I have 9 days until the baby is born. 9 days!!!! 9 days!!! Am I repeating???
I was on the fence up until about 3 days ago. My doctor suggested that I try a VBAC...um I entertained it and then I found myself questioning everything. Complications, uterine rupture, failure to progress, baby not fitting...you name it I had it in my mind.

Then I had a conversation with TC and we discussed it. If I went the VBAC route, there is a 40% chance I am going to need a c-section anyway. Trent was 10 pounds and would not fit, hence why I had the first c-section. Oh and the drugs did not work!!!
This baby's weight is unknown so the doc wants to get an ultrasound to see. Well, technology is great but they told me that Trent would be just about 8 pounds. WRONG!!!

Plus, if I try it the natural way.....I will be alone.....all alone. It is bad enough that TC will miss the birth. But to do it alone, just is too much of a downer. I am so grateful that my sister is going to be with me for the surgery. She will calm me down.

I read so much stuff about VBAC and it seems like 50/50. Some doctors are all for it and some no. The stats say that I would only have a 1% chance of complications....um did you ever hear of Murphy's Law? Well, I am Murphy!!!!!!

So with all that in mind. I am scheduled to have my baby on the 9Th of August at 11:30 am. Which I think the doctor is punishing me for not wanting a VBAC...11:30 am...no food or water!!! I will be a bear!!

Well, the 9th it is....unless if these backaches are telling me I will go earlier?!?!?!?!?!?!

A higher power

Science or a Higher Power?

My dad was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma this past winter. His once massive structure has become that of a small, 74 year old man with "chicken skin" under his arms. His frame is so petite it is scary.
It was a stage 4 cancer, which I guess is a tough fight. However, he accepted the terms and entered the world of an oncology patient with grace. His chemotherapy has been a rough road but compared to some, a breeze. But seeing a loved one ill and weak is no easy sight.

I learned a lot about my parents and siblings through all of this. I see how a family of 6 can break up, get closer and be honest. I see that my father is not as strong mentally as I thought he was. I had him on a pedestal forever...well, my mother is the one that is a rock. Her physical strength at 70 is amazing. Her need to keep him clean, fed and healthy has been cool to see.

My parents just celebrated there 50Th wedding anniversary in May. 50 years!! I asked her in a joking way how can she love the same person for that long of a time....she said, it evolved into a different kind of love. A true unconditional love. Pure and at times complicated.

I hope my marriage will survive the ups and the downs like theirs does. I wonder if I have the patience that my mother has?? One shall see.

The strength my mother has given to my father makes me question the presence of a higher power? Why?

The latest test results indicated that the cancer is in remission. Wow, we thought, that was fast. I attribute it to the technology and the chemo recipes that have been administrated to my father. But my mother said, it is because they lead a clean life and have faith.

Now I question it....

The heat, my weight and AC

Well my count down is on...I have 8 weeks until I deliver. I am hoping I can hold on that long.

It is so funny to see people and their reactions to my huge belly in the heat. The first look is pity, then concern and then the questions come. Oh gosh, honey when are you due? How is the heat treating you? Well at least you aren't swollen...and the best....how do you do it??

I am due in the middle of August and I have AC at work so it is great....at night home can be tough but can be dealt with and I am not swollen yet because I am not out mowing the lawn or painting my house. And how do I do it???? Well, women have been having babies for a million years...so it is nature! Pregnancy is a gift. I try to enjoy it as much as possible (I complain silently :-)

It is funny to see my massive body is my son's kiddie pool!!!!!

The Wiggles crush!

Ok I have to admit...I catch myself watching the kids programs with Trent. I can't help it..they are on while I am doing chores or just lounging around.

I have a to admit, I have a crush on one of the wiggles guy. I had this crush before but Trent grew out of them but now he likes them again....

Oh, Anthony the blue shirt wearing Wiggle...he is a cutie.

Please someone out there tell me I am normal??!?!?!?!

What a relief!

I got news the other day that a friend of mine is very ill. She has a series of tumors that need to be removed. She is a new mother of 2 and is only 30 years old.

Her surgery was yesterday and the survival rate for the procedure was only 20%. Well, I just found out this morning she made it through the surgery!!! I am so happy... I started to cry.

Now her road to recovery will entail chemotherapy and I am sure some strong medications but she now has time with her babies and family and I am sure with all the positive energy, she will beat it!!!

Thank God!!!

1,700 miles away

This morning my husband left for Oklahoma and Arizona. He will not be home until mid November. I thought I would be tough but I cried like a baby. I wonder if I cried because he will be gone for so long or did I cry because I will be home raising 2 kids by myself. I think a little of both. I guess him missing the birth of his second son is pretty sad for me...I will be alone. I have sisters that offer to come with me, but even though someone will be there, I will be alone.

Trent started crying at night and is being a super cling on to me and is needing me to be with him until he falls asleep. He knew TC was leaving, I guess he really does listen.
I guess the only remedy to this is to spoil him with material things. I need for him to be distracted until he is used to the house with just us.

TC going away state side is not so bad, at least I know he is safe and out of everyday harm. But what keeps me up at night is just when he gets home in November, he has to pack up again for his 24 month tour in Iraq....

Sad, just sad......

Dishes don't wash themselves

Dishes don't wash themselves, toys don't pick themselves up and shoes don't know their way to the closet!!

That is one thing that I have know for my entire life. But why do I still walk around my messy house thinking when I walk to another room that it will be miraculously clean?

I lack a ton of energy, that I know but I do EVER THING!!!!! I cook, clean, pay bills, laundry, clean the house...you know the usual home maker stuff. I would not mind so much but I do hold a job too.

I love my husband, really do, but my goodness is he a slob!! I mean, he thinks that I enjoy taking my huge stomach and lugging down the vacuum cleaner so I can clean up the cat hair off the couch that he complains about everyday. When he sees it downstairs or me using it, he says, I was going to take it down for you.....ummmm like I have time to wait!!!

I started to clean up toys and I lost my energy. I am lucky if I sleep 3 straight hours a night...sounds like I am complaining....ok I am complaining but it makes me feel better.

I know when my husband is away with the Army, the house will have order...but I know I will miss the boots, coffee cups on the window sill and the empty toilet paper roll.....oh and of course the drop of juice left in the container!!!

I will be a temporary single mom...again

Many of you have read my past blogs about my husband being in the reserves and going away a lot, which includes his year in Iraq when Trent just turned one. So being a temporary single mom is now on my resume. I have to say that it is the hardest, most unappreciated job! I applaud every single parent out there. When you do it on your own you are mother, father, psychologist, doctor and playmate. There is never a break, never a day off or a long enough shower for you to even shave your legs evenly!!!

Well, I just got word that TC will be leaving May 29th until November 15th or so....

He will miss the birth of the baby, the christening, Trent's first day of Kindergarten, Trent's fourth birthday and even silly things like trick or treating!!!

I am grateful that he will be stateside, in Oklahoma and Arizona...but then I found out that once he is done with this stint...he will be going off to Iraq for 18 months. He will leave shortly after Christmas (at least that is the plan). He will get to meet his new son for about one month and then off until he is close to 2 years old and Trent will be close to 6 years old. I think that is the ages but either way, my children will not know their father.

I guess I will have to get to know him all over again. I will have to experience the first kiss, the first night in the same bed and being able to hand over some of the parental responsibilities. I nearly had a breakdown the last time he came home.....I wonder if I will be the same as before or be fine...I am thinking I will be fine...I have experience on my side!

Hats off to single parents, military families and all the children and babies stuck in the middle!!!!

So, I have this cough.....

*for folks who get easily offended, don't read*

So, I have this cough and so does Trent and TC but mine sounds like a disgusting alien living in my chest...gross! Nothing is coming up so it makes it worse.

I was in the shower today and I cough so much that I actually pulled my tongue muscle. OK is that even possible? My tongue feels like I just had a make out session with a hoover...double gross!!

So, today being a amazing sunny day, I decide to park far from the school and walk...OK great! Then the coughing fit happens...I cough and cough and then...I tinkled my pants!!

I blame the pregnancy and the baby right on my bladder but I think I just cough so much that the pee wanted out!!!

Now what does that say for the kind of day I am going to have??

OK maybe I am a bit paranoid.....

It was a warm September morning when I went into labor with Trent. Throughout the day, I knew I was going to love this little human but I had no idea how powerful it was going to be.

So when my little man entered the world and I saw him for the first time I cried, and I cried and I made a silent promise to myself, him and the world that I would protect him until my dying day. With that in mind, I have become a very paranoid person.

Fast forward to his school days, he is in pre-school and he is thriving and loves it! I love it too!!
His teacher is amazing and the children are all so sweet. I guess some of the other parents are more relaxed than me because they are all going on the "field trip" on Wednesday. There will be about 80 kids going to a turkey farm...ON A BUS!!!!!!!! A BUS!!!! A BUS WITH NO SEAT BELTS AND ME NOT THERE!!!!

So my question to you is......would you send your 3 year old on this field trip?

Dreams.....is that why I wake up tired?

My entire life I have always had a very active imagination but now...whoa!! These pregnancy dreams are weird.

The experts say they are normal to have weird dreams, something to do with anxiety, hormones and a boat load of things. But the ones I have been having could make a best seller!!!

I have been in a monogamous relationship with my husband since we were both 22 years old. I have never and I know I will never be unfaithful. But over the last couple of weeks, I have been with a bunch of other men. OK, maybe my extra marital affairs have all been dreamt but they do feel weird. Sometimes I wake feeling very guilty.

Last week I was with Mark Conselous and Kelly Ripa was no where in sight, he only had eyes for me...that fantasy lasted about 3 days, I guess him hosting the show with his lovely wife had something to do with it. Then last night, don't ask me why but my love interest was Mark Harmon. I have never ever thought of him in that light but oh boy we were in love last night. So today I googled him. He is a good looking man. I have great taste!!!

There have been a host of other nutty dreams in the mix like me walking down the street with Trent on the way to school and we hear a mother yelling at her child that they are late for school and the child is a baby crying. I know you are thinking while reading this....what the heck kind of pre-natal vitamins is this whack job on?!?!?!?

Im sure a shrink would have a field day on my head!

The sweetness of a child

While I try to juggle work, raise a 3 year old, be pregnant, husband away all the time and trying to help out with my dad who is in the midst of chemotherapy treatment for Hodgkin's, I sometimes lose sight of my surroundings, like the sweetness of a child.

I guess you could say that I over compensate for my husbands absence by dropping what I am doing to tend the needs of my son or maybe buy him that book or puzzle he wants...but I guess I have to say that remaining kind to him is something that I did not think he realized.

Tonight, I prepared dinner for my parents, Trent and myself...which I do at least 3 nights a week, to help out my mother. (I live on the apartment above them). So today my dad is not having a "good" day. He had a round of chemo 4 days ago and usually that is when you can see it has taken its toll. He ate a little and excused himself to go to the living room and watch TV. The 3 of us remained at the table to continue eating. Trent finished his plate and slowly gets up and grabs his water and walks towards the living room...I ask him, where are you going? He looks at me with such a look, that I could cry to see again...and says with the sweetest voice..I am going to give Papa some company.

I just looked at my mother and said, that is the sweetest thing. Boy am I lucky!!!!
So Trent sat with Papa in the living room, not much was said but I know having Trent around is what keeps my father in good spirits and of course, the sweetness of a child!!!!

But I am supposed to be an adult.......

I guess you could say I have spring fever.
That is the excuse I am using for my behavior right now. I just don't want to be at work and I am using every excuse I can get away with to leave work a few minutes early.

Today, I do have to get some blood work done (that would be a rant if I elaborated) and I told my superior that the lab closes at 2:30 pm...it so does not! It closes at 5 pm and I leave work at 3:30 but that one hour of sunlight would do wonders for my vitamin D right now.

When I was a manager of HR four hundred years ago and I had people who worked under me, I so knew when they were pulling the wool over my eyes...or so they thought. I would tell them when they were walking out the door not to get too sun burnt...I could careless, as long as the work is done , I would say. Hey maybe that is why I don't' manage a department anymore...I like being the pee-on and coming and going like no one really needs me. OK they need me or I would be jobless but for the sake of argument, I am not that important. I edit books...how much reading can one person do in a day...right????

There is never a simple explanation to violence.

Growing up in the city, hearing about shootings and robberies were something that happened to other people. I am very thankful that I have not been a victim of violence. However, it is still around me.

I don't like to watch the television much less the news in front of Trent. I am trying to shelter him from any unnecessary visions of violence. But the last few days, with the rain and all, I have had to watch some TV, while in the kitchen or cleaning up the bedroom. On the news I had to hear about the awful tragedy in Virginia. No family should ever get that dreaded call that something happened to a loved one. No one!!!!

Trent hears the word guns and weapons and thinks that it is cool. I guess you could blame me and TC because I have many pictures around the house of TC in uniform over in Iraq and of course he is holding weapons...it was part of his everyday gear over there. So what little boy does not want to be like his daddy!. So seeing daddy with guns, Trent wants them too.

Over time Trent has acquired his collection of Army guys (the little plastic ones that if you step on them you need to be rushed to the ER for emergency foot surgery...ya those ones!)
and some squirt guns and now lately he wants to be in the army. TC and Trent took a drive to KayB toys and bought a GI Joe collection. It has the uniform, compass, fake grenades and of course the guns. I hate them but I get the...Oh he is a boy, he should play with boy things.

I liked it when he loved sharks and the ocean stuff. That was safe...

I just don't want my little boy to grow up like me and think that violence only happens in other neighborhoods. We don't' live in that world anymore and to be honest it scares me. I want him to know that there are bad people in the world and guns are bad. So now when he plays with his GI Joe stuff, I tell him that his stuff is fake and if he wants to have a gun when he grows up he will join the Army or become a police officer...after college. I am slowly trying to transition him into something else...I am sure one by one those dreaded toy guns will find there way into the trash and I will replace it with something else that is boy related...Bugs! That is a good one!!

After a comment I got one day from someone, which was off the mark and highly aggravating. I thought I had a crafty response:

Woman: Oh, you are pregnant?
Me: Yes, this is #2 and it is a boy!
Woman: I never would want kids in this day and age with all the crazy stuff going on. Why would I want to bring an innocent child here!.
Me: Well, all children start out innocent and it starts in the home.
Woman: I guess.
Me: Also, maybe one of my boys will the one person that can change the world for the better. And I have the confidence that I could be raising or carrying the next president that could end violence forever.
HAHAHA pie in your face lady!!!!!! Kiss it!!!

Does a domino fit down a throat?

Last night was complete and utter CHAOS!!!!!!!!
Heart attack central at bed time and I mean it!
So I am beat, really beat so I am looking forward to a good nights sleep...which is impossible when I feel like a 300 pound whale that swallowed a beach ball. Anyway, TC worked last night and Trent and I decided to cuddle up in my bed to watch a movie of my choice. BAD MOVE! The movie I picked out was Lassie. The movie was made in 1994 so I assumed that it would not be a whiny black and white with a woman asking a dog if Timmy fell down a well?!?!?!
No way...it was modern day with a modern day theme. I should have known, it was PG...but then again so isn't Flushed away and Shrek...I thought this one was safe...
Without spoiling the movie, there is a scene in there that centers around LASSIE DYING!!!! OK! THE DOG GOES AND DIES!!!! So Trent is crying hysterically, tears and everything. I did not want to shut it off because I know that Lassie does not die, she always comes back! Well TC walks in and thank goodness he did because he helped me reassure Trent that everyone is ok and just playing...ok finally calmed him down and Lassie was ok and the movie is over! Crisis over! Or so I thought.
So fast forward one half hour to Trents bedtime. Of course he is up and down from the bed and I am up and down keep tucking him in, he is funny at bed time ( at least he is when I am not half asleep) anyway, he finally settles down and I am just about in R.E.M when I hear him scream.. he yells, MOMMA, I SWALLOWED A DOMINO!!!!!!! Well this whale never jumped out of bed so fast, I don't even think my feet touch the ground. I am in complete panic mode, even with the shaky hands. I asked him a million questions about the domino in question...he told me that he found it in his bed, etc...I am thinking how???? Then he is crying...crazy crying taking off his clothes and freaking out about how is the domino going to come out and now I am really nervous thinking, did he really swallow this huge thing? TC is so calm, thank god because he made sense of it all. He dreamt it. We did not hear any gagging, choking or anything. I calm Trent down, TC calms me down and I gather all the domino's off the floor and we all know where they are!!!! TRASH! So Trent falls asleep and is snoring soundly, I of course check on him ever 20 mins until like after 11 pm and I finally relax. I did have to make a call to my friend on the west coast to have her reassure me that he was ok. Thank the lord for the 3 hour time difference!!!
Then my crap starts! Cramps in the belly, hips hurt...the usually pregnancy complaints. Which I will spare you all the mess of hearing about it. But I thought I was in labor at 22 weeks, more panic. So needless to say, sleep visited me only for about 2 hours...I am here at work like a zombie and I wonder if I should just go home and nap???
But the funny thing...i just got a call from home. TC is home with Trent and he told me that Trent just made a deposit in the ole porcelain bank, and there was no domino!!!!!

two funny things I had to share!

So Trent my little clown had me laughing yet again!
We are driving home from our failed trip to sears and I was thirsty so TC pulls into Starbucks to get me a water, himself this green tea latte thing that looked like a science project (what the heck ever happened to normal coffee size small please??) then we decided to get Trent a "treat" so we got him this nice creamy blended strawberry thing with whipped creme! Anyway we are driving and I hear him slurping away. So I say...."hey pal, how is your treat?" He tells me in a grown up voice...." Pretty Dam good!!" I just blew it off and TC and busted a gut laughing!!!
Then my other funny story is...Trent had to go pee so he goes to the bathroom and I needed to get something I left on the floor I walk in while he is peeing and he turns without breaking a pee stream, says....do you mind mom?? Privacy please!!!
OK how funny is this kid???

Rain, Rain....oh and more rain!!

As I sit on the couch watching my son use his crafts for the 10th time this week, I look out the window and wonder if the rain is going to stop anytime this week? Don't get me wrong, I love my days of staying the house with no plans or anything to do but this is getting dull, real dull!!!
I don't want the poor little on in front of the TV too much but how much finger painting and playing puzzles can one 3 year old do? So when it was a bit drizzly out yesterday...he went out to ride his bike. Bad mother I am thinking but I felt we both needed a bit of a break from one another!
So today, our big trek out was to drive to Sears to pick up the grill that I ordered...Well, my husband forgot the tool he needed to bring the stupid thing home. I guess it did not make a difference considering I won't be grilling for a few more days!
So off goes the computer, TV on, and the paints are out one more time. This is the worst vacation my son has ever had!!!

For those of you who work outside the home....

I guess you can say I am a creature of habit. When I am working, I have my coffee cup on the left side of me at all times, I like to use the same pen, and best of all...I like to use the same bathroom stall. Maybe one could say that it is a touch of OCD but I guess it is a comfort zone for me. When I worked at my last 2 jobs, I had the same thing...used the same bathroom stall.
Today I had to go potty and I walk in there and notice there is no toliet paper...ummm, I sort of stood there for a second and said, I do have to pee so I guess I have to use another stall...well I did it and it felt like I was driving in a different city!!!! Different view, the toliet paper dispenser was even different. WEIRD!!!
I will have to make sure I know where the extra TP is kept in case of emergencies of this kind!!!!!

Boogers are not an appitizer!!!

If anyone out there has a toddler or preschooler, you may know that there is an interest in eating their own boogers. Ok, maybe it is just my kid but he loved them.
One day he got the stomach bug. Throwing up and feeling nasty, I saw this as an opportunity to maybe open his eyes to the gross, disgusting habit of eating boogers.
So when he was in the midst of feeling his worse, I told him he has the stomach bug from eating boogers. Well, that was the end of the small feasts!
He even tells his cousin, four months his senior.."Hey Aidan, you are going to throw up from eating your boogies, they are full of germs and you will get the stomach bug!!!" Did not work on him but Trent knows the dangers of the little monsters.
So the other day, as he was sitting down enjoying his newest disney movie, he was picking away...I look over and say" Hey bud, what are you digging for?" , he turns without missing a beat and said, "gold" I crack up! (of course) Then when he "strikes" gold, he shows me....like I really wanted to see it, in all it's glory. I asked him what do you want me to do with it, go get a tissue...no, he was not going to miss his movie so instead he hands it to me. I guess I did not want to miss the movie either so I wiped it on my jeans...I know I am gross...honest but gross. So I put them in the hamper at the end of the night and I say to TC, how come I am the one with all the boogers????? He just laughs and says I am the lucky one!

hmmmm, did he pick that up from me?

Thinking I am a very conscientious parent, I have curbed my swearing and cuss words down to a minimal two words. G*# D@M. Yes that is the one that I use all the time....because I don't consider the word "freaking" a swear. So, I stub my toe, I say ouch, holy crap or something like that mildly resembles a swear but when I am angry I bring out the ugly GD one. So, Trent is at the stage where he is trying to push my buttons. He knows by the end of the day when it is time for bed I am beat...I get to my room and I have no energy for fighting or temper tantrums. He knows that if he gets ready early enough he can watch a movie in my bed...well, it was a school night and he was being a pesky child and getting up and down and pushing the limits and I yell...you better get in that GD bed!!! End of story...that was about a month ago.
I never realized that my son had elephant genetics in him...his memory is amazing!
So the other night, I am tired as usual, and it is getting late and he needs to be in bed. Don't 3 year olds know that a mother needs her beauty sleep!!!!
So....he is being a pesky child again and I quietly and calmly say...little man you best be in that bed...and without missing a beat, he yells back...I am in my GD bed!! I was stunned...then I burst out laughing...thank goodness he did not see me.
Of course I make the mistake of telling my husband, TC that our little angel knows how to cuss correctly..and using it in the proper context no less! Of course, I get you know, this is all your fault. Ahhhh ya no kidding...I am home with him more! Dur!
So it gets better...on the way home from Best Buy we purchase a movie he is eager to watch..we are about 20 minutes from the house and he is demanding to watch his movie..I tell him that he has to wait until we get home...well he blurts out....I want to watch my freaking GD movie!!!
Mouth open and in shock, I look over at my husband who I am waiting for him to freak out...just starts laughing...I thought I was off the hook...until he says...you know this is your fault!!!!
All I say is...Dur!

Maybe I am germ phobic!

As you know the majority of germs are bad for you. Having a sick kid at home just reinforces my so called fear of germs...I am not a nut that wears gloves or a mask but I do constantly wash my hands and I do have a full supply of Purell at arms reach at all times.
My gripe or complaint is to the folks out there who are oblivious to the fact that they are spreading germs and viruses...which can be prevented!!!
I am in CVS the other day going to pick up Motrin for my sick little boy and Tylenol for my dad who was just diagnosed with lymphoma. So both of them have a "bug" and I am on a mission for the wonder drug that will make them both comfortable. While I am in my car admiring all my wonderful coupons that were generated from CVS because I am a frequent customer there and I use my trusted CVS card...I noticed a little man lifting the lid to the trash can. I have no problem with folks who want to go through the trash for hidden treasure as long as they leave things the way they were when they found them. I am on of those nice recyclers that even separated the refund cans and bottles outside of my trash so they don't have to rifle through the dirty trash! I know they appreciate it because they are neat and clean! Anyway...I sit and watch this man paw through the can...selecting his treasure for refunds. Good for him he will get some money for all of this hard work. But as he neatly replaces the lid (thank you) he is not wearing gloves or anything. He proceeds to go into the store touching door handles, products and so forth. I am mortified!!!! This goes for the people that sneeze on the stuff in the stores when you have on a jacket and sneezing into a sleeve is just as easy as sneezing onto the fresh produce at Stop and Shop!!! PEOPLE COLD AND FLU SEASON IS IN FULL FORCE!!!!!
So as I look down at my chapped, dry hands from over washing and Purelling the crap out of them.....I applaud myself for stopping the germ from going past me. Besides..they wont be chapped much longer...spring is coming....right????

Why do I bother?

Being pregnant I think it opens up the world to think they can offer unwarranted opinions, advice and comments. Does a belly that sticks out scream..."hey, you over there, tell me that my butt is big because.....
I mean come on!!! Ok so my butt is getting big but I don't need the world to point it out. My favorite is...your butt is getting wide, so you must be having a girl. Does that comment about having a girl void out the fact that you just said my butt is big???
Or, oh you have a glow, you are so having a boy! Or just because my face is covered in frosting from hostess chocolate cupcakes does not mean I am carrying a girl,. Did it ever occur to people that I just like to be a pig and suck down two of those lovely cakes with a tall glass of milk with ice cubes?!?!?!?!!? Yes, another discussion...I like ice in my milk :-)
Old wives tales crack me up. I love the one where you pee in the toilet with Drano and that will tell you what you are having. Or if you have zits, you are carrying a girl...or if you want steak it is a boy. Love them!!!!
My other pet peeve is when people, especially family ask you what names you are thinking about and I tell them...I get the ole...oh that name, I dated a ***** and he was a jerk or I knew a **** and she was a tramp! Oh folks I don't care...but of course I listen to them and second guess myself. So with that in mind I will keep our names to ourselves...weird, trampy, or silly to ourselves and on the day my child is born, no one will say...oh that is a weird name, they will ohh and ahhh and say nice fit.
Being a little curious about the gender I did seek out the "opinion" of the Chinese lunar calendar. it was accurate with my son so I thought I would give it a whirl...well they are telling me boy. Great, I have no preference either way, but a healthy baby. But eating all this sweets have got to mean only one thing. I LOVE THEM!!!!!!
So my advice to the woman at the Disney store who thinks that I like a complete stranger rubbing my belly....um. lady, thanks for the nice comments but um, you are so in my personal space!!!!!

When it rains, it pours!

My entire life I have been blessed with a healthy family. My parents have been very lucky in regards to having a pill free life. I have friends of mine whose parents have been on all kinds of meds for a very long time and with my father turing 75 and mother heading to 70 in April, the only thing they take is the occasional asprin.
Well, early Novemeber, Dad finds a lump in his neck. This starts a string of appointments with doctors and biopsies and the never ending re-checks. We just got the diagnosis that he has lymphoma. What a complete drag! Now he has to get more test to determine what sort of Chemo he will have to get. I never thought I could feel sorry for my father, him being strong and kept us together but I do. I see him now as someone so small and in need of a boat load of help. BUT!!! If that is not bad enough...my mother has two "bad" mammograms...so off to get a biopsy for her. Now we wait on the results for her. I never in a million years ever thought that I could face the possibilities of caring for two ill parents. I am thankful for my large family. My siblings are around all the time but I fear that they see them weak and small too. Pity is not what they need, I guess it is strength.

Sick kids and a school day.

Question? Do you think that it is OK and fair to send your sick child to school sick? Of course it all depends on the sickness, but for this discussion I am talking about your colds, flu's and fevers.
This may sound like a rant...OK maybe it is.
My son, is in preschool. We love it and missing a day is like he can't play with his friends...so he goes even in the morning when he pulls the covers over his head. (he got that from his fathers side of the family :-)
Well, on the day I " lunch mother" I see a couple of kids with green snotty noses, running down their face, and one little girl so out of it she is sitting in the corner coughing. I touch her, burning of course! I tell the teacher and of course, no parent comes right away...this is a 3 year old child! So I Lysol the place, wash all those little hands, clean those gross boogers and we have lunch...well 2 days later, Trent gets a cold, fever and conjunctivitis. I talk to the teacher and she informs me that one of the little girls had it. OK why did this parent send their child to school with conjunctivitis. We all know it is very contagious. You can see the red eyes! So off to the doctors and I keep Trent home for a few days until he is well. WELL!!! As you would guess it, I have the gross eyes and the gross boogers! Thanks parents for the spread of something that could have been prevented!
So off to school today. Trent is healthy and happy but there it is again...a different kid, sitting at the puzzle table trying to suck up the snots and try to keep her eyes open.
Does Target sell those big plastic bubbles????

Iraq+Husband+War=Aniexty

I am fine...I will be fine. Those are my blanket answers that I feed most strangers when they ask about TC leaving for Iraq. What am I going to say? Oh sit down, grab your tea and while your up, a box of tissues too!! Nah! Not my style. I have been through too much over the last 4 years to let it get to me now.
I have anger...tons of it.
-History of Lisa 101-
Year 2003: Pregnant for the first time with my son, my husband has this yearning to re-join the reserves, the Army Reserves. I cry, I scream, I throw lots of things in hopes that will penetrate his thick head and not join. I was 6 months pregnant when he re-joined. I wanted to leave him for the pain he caused me. I wanted to show him what it is like to feel when someone you love is going to leave for a long period of time. But I was pregnant and I love him. Is love enough to keep it together? OK fast forward to September of 2003. My amazing son is born...3 weeks later, as my c-section incision re-opens, my husband leaves for 3 weeks to Missouri. OK my baby is 3 weeks, he leaves me with 2 dogs, which are his and a house to take care of...oh yes, my incision is healing, painfully. But again, I love him. OK fast forward again. My son is 5 months old, he is gone again for 3 weeks to Missouri again. This time, he informs me that he will be leaving for Iraq in 6 months. Trent turns one in September and then 3 weeks later, off to Iraq. What is it with the magical 3 weeks?!?!?!
One year in Iraq makes for a different person. He came home...different...so different he was not sure he did not want to be married anymore. What a bastard I thought! You leave, I hold down the fort, get us out of debt, re-do the house, raise our son and you come home and tell me this! GO GET THERAPY! No, not in his plan. So there I go off to find a therapist to help me with my new found anxiety! Did you know that if you don't breath correctly you can get dizzy??? Or that nerves can make a person loose 30 pounds! Ha! You think it is not true! I was so thin that people were afraid to ask me how I did it. With my faith, strength and courage. We got through it. I have to say, I was the glue and did not give up. I knew that his mind was not in the place where it should be. OK fast forward---January 2007, Pregnant again, have a son who is the funniest person I know and a stable husband. He tells me again, I will be leaving for Iraq again, you know. This time it will be different. He most likely will miss the birth of this child, and the first year of his/her life, not to mention that he will miss Trent's t-ball games and first day of Kindergarten. Well, hello Anxiety, your back. Not nice to see you again!!!
Although....I must say. I am stronger, tougher and my anger will not be a force to be reckon with! I pray for his safety. I pray that he comes home in one piece and stable but if he comes home "different again" I am not sure I will be so forgiving this time!

I am a complete psycho!

So today marks my tenth week of pregnancy and I have determined that I am a nut! I am usually level-headed and pretty easy going...oh no..not me now!
My poor husband takes the hit for it. He works a million hours and last night he napped for 3 hours since he only got 3 hours sleep the night before and I was mad...why? I was not even home!!! Then today is the big football game and he had to work but got home early and then he wanted to go watch the game at a bar with the guys and I flipped out...told him that he makes me sad that he does not even want to watch it at home with me! I am not a big fan and I guilted him into this. Now, bored on the couch alone, he watches the Patriots try to get to the Super Bowl. I am looking forward to this moodiness to end!!! I think the guy is looking forward to going to Iraq!!!

Is yelling discipline?

Today being like every other day, Trent and I set off to school. Seeing only his cherub like cheeks through the hat and big coat, made me want to cover him in kisses...but we were running late!
In the car we discussed how he is going to have fun at school and that Daddy will be picking him up. All is well, until we get to school. We proceed to the classroom after minutes of peeling layers of clothing off. And we see that both PreK classes are combined for "Sister No Name" to do their weekly singing. (Trent goes to a private/catholic school) This "Sr. No Name" was my teacher when I was in grammer school and I know how she scared the crap out of me then! Well, Trent is a good boy and sits in the circle, throws me a kiss, I catch it and the door gets closed. Well I began to have a conversation with the PreK teacher about the upcoming Valentines Day party when we hear a child crying. I knew instantly that it was not mine...like a mother lion, I could identify his cry anywhere! But none the less, it was a child crying. Well, not a second goes by and Sister No Name screams..."STOP CRYING...STOP CRYING THIS INSTANT!!!!!" The room feel silent..then she starts singing again. Does this beast understand that she is dealing with 3 and 4 year old little children who just started to trust the outside world? Well, here comes the mother lion again! I turn to the teacher and say..."listen, I don't' like that, it is not appropriate and I think she needs to be re-evaluated about her teaching skills" The teacher agreed but she is 25 years old and new...what is she going to do...stand up to a nun that has been in the school for 125 years? No..it is up to me to protect these children. Old school does not work, I think that a student should have respect, and a lot of it but to have the child fear a teacher is not going to benefit them at all. Is yelling discipline? Maybe it worked then but I know that it only makes my child nervous...these kids are smart...you could raise your voice but to scream? No way!
So me, Mrs. Lion is meeting with the principal today and I am going to voice my concern over her behavior. I am hoping her tenure does not impact the need for a discussion. We shall see...I will pump Trent for information...he is very vocal...and very honest! Gotta love it!

Pregnancy...fears, myths and loss.

In mid- October of 2006 I miscarried at 12 1/2 weeks. I was seen at 7 weeks and everything was great. Back to the doctor for a follow up and that is when I was told that the baby stopped growing at 9 weeks and I had no idea. Some people don't talk about and some like to ignore it like it never happened. I am the opposite. I talk about it. I had to have a D&C which to be honest was not a big deal. I was not emotional about the entire thing. Even when they told me, I was like...Oh ok.
My reaction must have come to a shock to most but as I tried to explain it to someone...I never had the attachment. From the beginning, something did not feel right. I knew something was to go wrong, I never had a vision of my future child, nothing. My husband was more upset than me. A friend of mine asked me why I am not crying and I explained to her that "these things happen".
Is it a myth that woman have a "woman's intuition?" A gut instinct? Hmmm, I question that often. My answer is, I have it. I go with my first instinct...I can sense things...call me a weirdo...that is ok, my family says it!
But I guess fears of another loss are in fact real. This is not public knowledge...well I guess now it is.... I am expecting again. I am 10 weeks and no one really knows. I told my sister in law...who I trust as a great friend too. But my mother does not even know. I am afraid to tell people. I fear that if I tell people that I will in fact loose this baby. The baby that I have seen in my dreams....this baby has a full head of hair, just like Trent and big pink cheeks. And will be a bit bigger than my tank, Trent was. He was almost 10 pounds.
Why this fear? Why am I dreaming of a loss even before I have even seen the doctor? I am sure my reaction is normal, right? My first appointment is coming up and I will tell my mother then..I am afraid of her reaction. 35 years old and I am afraid my mother is going to be mad because I get pregnant again. :-) This baby was planned and very much wanted.
I guess once I get passed the "danger time" I will be a bit more relaxed.
I have to question if anyone else has had this happen to them before?

Did you ever have one of those days?

It is Wednesday and it feels like Friday. Not the good Friday feeling but the I am so tired that I am siked the week is over feeling. Last night I went to a Home and School Association meeting at the school and it lasted until 9:00pm...by the time I got in bed it was very late...I woke up late, showered but had no time to wash my hair, Trent was late for school and now I am dragging like I am hungover! And I know tonight I am looking at my laundry. I just want to go back to bed!
Did you ever have one of those days?

Houston - we have poops!

Ok, as you have read in my prior post, Trent keeps me laughing. Well at 3 years old, one would think that a child would be potty trained. hahahahahaha he's not. I should have bought stock in Huggies and Pampers when I had the chance..then I could have had a nanny potty train!!!
Anyway...I had to do the tough love thing...the thing that the experts say won't work and it will damage the child for life. Well, Dr. Knowitall....come to my house and change a 3 years old crappy diaper and then tell me who is damaged...me and my nasal passage! They eat real food and poop like men...yuck! So I, all weekend...stayed home. The weather was close to 70 degrees...yes in January and I stayed in to keep big boy underwear on. The pee-pee was successful but popping just ain't happening. 2 days go by and NOTHING.. a kid can hold it if they really want to! HE DID!! He had a stomach ache and was telling me he had to go but once I had him on the toliet...he clenched up and shut down the old septic system. So last night I had it...on the toliet he sat for ONE HOUR!! We read books, he cried, we told Knock-Knock jokes, he laughed..then the urge..then the clamp, then the urge and the clamp, then the urge.....you can see where I am going with this, right? Anyway, time progresses slowly as I am sitting on a cold bathroom floor and the urge hits again. He is crying....telling me that he is afraid..." honey, what are you afraid of?" he blurts out..." THE PLOP!!!!". So, my kid is afraid of the splash...I couldn't help but laugh. I was thinking something on the lines of falling in, or where is my poop going but the splash!
Needless to say, we had success...he cried and I told him that it was over and he did a nervous laugh and had to check out the outcome. I said, would you like to take a picture of it...he said" momma, that is gross"...smart kid, I was only kidding. So now we owe him a fish tank. Does anyone know how much a Nemo fish is going to cost me???

This is my first blog-EVER

At 35 years old, I thought I was pretty much "there" when it came to being savvy in the technical world...boy was I wrong!
I was chatting with a friend, Robin and we were discussing blogs. She suggested that I create on and just keep it going and when the time comes for my husband, TC to re-deploy to Iraq, he can be up to date in the going on's in our house.
Robin said it was easy to create.....she was right. Thank you Robin!!!
So I guess I will start with a funny thing my handsome 3 year old son, Trent said. For all of you out there that don't have kids, you may not find this funny but you know the ole saying..."out of the mouths of babes".
So I was sitting on the couch with my husband watching nothing good on TV but moreso just watching Trent play with the millions of Christmas things he got. Anyway, I am watching him go behind the couch...make a grunting noise and then a "aaahhhh" came out...so I instantly knew he need to make a poop. So I say, "hey bud, you need to go pooh?" His response was so quick and witty..."nah, I just got a hemmoroid"...I nearly busted a gut laughing and my husband just looks at me and goes..."Nice!" I guess it is just proof that I spend too much time with my child!
There are so many funny things that he says on a day to day basis...I will try to write them down so I can remember them as well.